How many of us wish that we had a dime for every time we heard "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" as we are going through tough situations. How many of us have said it ourselves to a loved one while searching for comforting words? It is comforting to believe that eventually the trial will end you'll be okay on the other side.
A couple of years ago while searching for comforting words to offer a friend I examined that saying more closely. I asked myself, so what if someone is strong enough to endure, does that knowledge or belief really make it easier? Does it take away the pain? Does that mean that stronger people are destined to endure more difficult trials simply because they are stronger? How is that fair? Who would want to be stronger if only to endure more pain? Suddenly this saying meant to bring comfort seemed to be doing the opposite.
As I thought about this saying, I searched for the positive. Finally it hit me... Maybe that saying is not true after all. Maybe God does give us more than we can handle. Maybe we are given more than we can individually handle so that we are given the opportunity to lean on others. In this thinking I came up with my new belief.
I believe that in life we are given more than we can handle. As we are pushed beyond our individual capacities for surviving life's trials, we lean on others when we wouldn't otherwise. As a result both parties are blessed, both the giver and the receiver. Acts of kindness are born out of love. I believe that God exists is in that love.
I have felt much more comfortable in the giving help side of that relationship than in the receiving part. Through this journey, I have certainly been forced into a place where many times I cannot walk on my own two feet, and have had the blessing of leaning on others. As the weeks and months have passed, I've felt more wobbly, but not really known how to reach out. I know that it sounds silly as so many of you have offered to help, sometimes specifically, sometimes generally, but the offer has been made hundreds of times since the beginning of this journey. Often as people have said, "Would you like me to..." my response has been, "No thank you, I've got it." As I wrote previously, it's easy to feel alone when not accepting help of others. Much of my feeling of aloneness has felt paralyzing, where I've wanted help, but hadn't known how people could help or even simply saying, "yes," when help is offered.
Slowly I've been figuring it out with the help of loved ones. As specific help is offered, I've been better at saying, "yes." One thing that has helped me has been when I've thanked those who've helped, they've frequently responded with gratitude in allowing the help. And that is where his idea of God's existence living in the love fueling these acts of kindness resurfaced.
I also know that through such trials we have opportunities to grow that we wouldn't have otherwise. Without such adversities, how would one grow? What would life be like without such growth? Thank goodness we have each other to lean on through these pains.
Thank you to all of you who've helped both Joe and I stand when we've been too weak to stand on our own. <3
Our New Journey
On June 9th, 2011, my husband was feeling ill. He said that he was dehydrated and needed to go to the hospital for fluids. I mentioned to the nurses that I was concerned because he had seemed a little different over the past week. After a few tests, it was revealed that a tumor had taken up residence in his brain. A biopsy soon followed. As the surgeon talked about the results of the biopsy, the dreadful word "cancer" was born into our lives, changing it forever.
Through this blog, I shared the early years of this journey.
Several years later, I'm elated to report that he is doing very well, back to work and life. Seeing him now, you would never know that he has been through such a battle.
Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.